You can’t change without changing is one of my favorite string of words. I’ve said it to myself again and again when faced with a choice to respond in the same old way or make a conscious decision to reset a reference point and do something differently, no matter how uncomfortable.
An example: I receive an email from a company I work with alerting me of a policy change I disagree with. I feel the ire rise in my core and I get all indignant about how could they be so stupid to do it that way. I hit reply ready to tell them why it won’t work and request to be treated differently than others and then I stop in my tracks. Instead of hitting send I zoom out and shift perspectives from what a victim I am by this change to how thrilled I would be if I didn’t respond to receiving information I don’t agree with as if I’m being persecuted. I honestly have to say it seems like a better way to live.
So instead of flying off the handle I watch myself. I don’t respond. I decide to let it play it out and if I need to make any requests down the road I always have the option. My insides relax. My nervous system disengages. I demonstrate to myself a different, much more palatable, way to be in the world. Now comes practice.
I invite you to give yourself the freedom to make an on the spot decision to choose differently, to make the choice you would most likely make if you had one, and that my friends, you do!